Saturday, May 8, 2010

Too Much, Too Fast

The Phillies lost. I'm at the Dakota alone. Pair those things, and you'll learn that I'm shooting Jim Beam Red Stag in between Yuenglings and feeling sorry for myself. The few friends I have are in different states or countries. The few people who claim to be my friends but really aren't...are all in this room.

This was probably a good idea. Half-assing packing for my business trip and coming here. At least I dress nice all the time, so no matter what I throw in a suitcase, I'll still look presentable.

I'm looking forward to these two trips. The learning, mostly, but also because it's a break from the norm. I used to not like living here, but it's getting a lot better. Despite that, I still look forward to every opportunity to get away. As an added bonus (haha, my phone suggested auto-correcting that to say boner), I get to catch up with a long-lost friend, someone I hold very close to my heart, yet I've treated quite unfavorably.

While we're on this topic, why are you still here? If I was you, I would've cut me loose long ago. You didn't though, and it amazes me how things have turned out.

Regardless of where I've been or where I'm going or who I've treated way better or worse than they deserve, I still find myself struggling with where I currently sit. Yeah, it's a bar in Nowheresville, New York. But it's more than that. It's the fourth phase of my life. It's post-high school, post-college, post-military. It's everything I've worked for in the 8 years since I graduated.

Am I where I envisioned myself back in 2002?

Simply put: no.

Don't misunderstand me, I'm not complaining in any way. But remember, I went to Drexel as a Computer Science major, and started out in the Air Force as an Explosive Ordnance Disposal student. How I ended up as a radio technician is beyond me. Life has a funny way or working out, it seems.

I'm going to shift my focus to playoff hockey now.

Random thoughts, folks...they're what you signed up to read.

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